C: It’s time to upgrade your skills. 

Me: Not when I am not even getting paid for the ones I am already selling. 

C: Finally, some quality family time. 

Me: Time that gets split into mother’s nagging, father’s raging, sister’s squabbling and brother’s bossing. 

C: Nature is rejuvenating itself. 

Me: My human nature is simply regurgitating ire, irk and irritation. 

C: You are helping people remain safe. 

Me: With public spaces, sprawling surfaces, hidden symptoms- will we ever be able to call us safe? 

C: It’s an ideal time to practice mindfulness. 

Me: Yes, I am super mindful of the depleting savings, of the multiple utility items, which the Indian government has not labeled as “essentials” and of a lockdown whose date is getting marked on a time-frozen calendar. 

C: Laze around all day with all the books you have been yearning to read. 

Me: Yeah as if I can now sympathize with Gatsby’s tragic loss of love. Suely, the Roaring Twenties and its angst will fade in my era of the Whirling Virus. 

C: Binge Watch your favourite TV shows, guilt-free! 

Me: When real life seems to evoke daily COVID dread, suspenseful statistics and shocking images, the world of make-belief just gets less appealing.